China school ...

Our local FCC chapter offers Chinese culture classes for preschoolers (and their parents) during the Fall and Spring semesters. With the help of very patient Chinese students from the U of R, we learn a little Mandarin as well as about Chinese stories, song and dance. The children develop friendships and look forward to getting together at other FCC events throughout the year. Elizabeth loves going to "China School." She doesn't understand that we are trying to honor her heritage, celebrate the diversity of our family, and advocate for her acceptance and respect. She just loves playing with the other girls, especially her best friend Meaghan.

There are differing opinions on the value of programs like FCC, but I hope it will help her develop an appreciation of her heritage, of an ancient culture and people, that will strengthen her pride in her background and help her understand her life story. I want to create a safe zone of multicultural friends and family, where she knows she is loved unconditionally and where she can express herself fully without fear of being persecuted or judged. I also believe that it's important for her to have a mentor with whom she can discuss issues of adoption and culture; areas that — much as we'd like to — we can never fully understand. I want to protect her. I want to empower her. More than anything, I want her to love herself.

The other day, we were waiting our turn for haircuts. In the chair, getting some finishing touches, was an older woman who, at first seemed harmless enough, but then opened her mouth. In front of my very aware 4-year-old daughter, she proceeded to ask intrusive questions and make ignorant comments.
--"Is she adopted?" Here we go.
--"How much did it cost?" She's priceless.
--"Why didn't you adopt an American kid?" Because our daughter was in China.
--"Do you know her mother?" I'm her mother.
--"She's a very lucky little girl." We're the lucky ones. We have a beautiful daughter who has added so much more to our lives than we could ever hope to give to her.
It's a good thing the curling iron was out of reach. I've read all about conspicuous families. I know we're supposed to try and educate the public. But, man, I thought we were supposed to educate about adoption, not common decency and good manners.