Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Job opportunity ...














"NURSING is a womanly, lucrative profession, graduates earning $12 to $30 a week. Our courses require no unusual ability - only earnest, faithful effort. They are especially adapted to the young woman seeking a life vocation and to the practical nurse who needs a thorough knowledge of the theory of her profession. A treatise, giving full information, mailed to earnest applicants."

THE CHAUTAUQUA SCHOOL OF NURSING, 273 MAIN STREET, JAMESTOWN, N.Y.

(Advertisement, circa 1904)

Rules for Hiring Women (1943)

The following is an actual excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. It was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II - a mere 65 years ago. I now know that I can be amused and annoyed at the same time.
Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees

There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time - the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

It's National Nurses Week!

In honor of nurses and nurse educators everywhere ...



Saturday, April 26, 2008

Maxine and margaritas ...


















The Perfect Margarita:

Tip #1: Shaken, not stirred (and NEVER made in a blender).
Tip #2: Serve Margaritas straight up or on the rocks, NEVER frozen.
Tip #3: Use Kosher (not iodized) salt.
Tip #4: Never EVER drink and drive.

For Traditionalists: (3-2-1 recipe)
3 parts Tequila (100% blue agave)
2 parts Cointreau (never Triple sec)
1 part freshly squeezed lime juice.

-OR-

For Grand Marnier fans:
1 oz Tequila (100% blue agave)
1 oz Grand Marnier liqueur
1 oz freshly squeezed lime juice
(or try the 3-2-1 ratio)

Pour all ingredients over ice in a cocktail shaker. Shake to your liking and strain into a margarita glass rimmed with Kosher salt. Garnish with a lime wedge and ENJOY!

Monday, March 31, 2008

First manicure ...


Elizabeth decided to "paint" her fingernails blue and green. Why? Because those are her favorite colors, of course. I think she did an outstanding job for a 4-year-old. And thoughtfully, she used her washable color markers and not the indelible black ones tucked in the back of the drawer. Daddy still had quite a time getting it all off. She now has her very own bottle of quick-drying nail polish, which is the color of bubble gum. Needless to say, she's tickled pink.

Noah's ark ...



Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark ...

1. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

2. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask
you to do something really big.

3. Don't listen to critics. Do what has to be done.

4. Build your future on high ground.

5. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

6. Two heads are better than one.

7. Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

8. When you’re stressed – try floating awhile.

9. Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.

10. Remember - we're all in the same boat.

11. When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't just sit there and complain -- shovel!

12. Stay below deck during the storm.

13. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic was built by professionals.

14. If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.

15. Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.

16. No matter how bleak it looks, when you’re with God, there's always a rainbow on the other side.

17. DON'T MISS THE BOAT!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

The lighter side of adoption ...


(Originally published in "Adoption Nation: How The Adoption Revolution is Transforming America," by Adam Pertman)
© Dan Wasserman




THE ACCIDENTAL ADOPTION

Have you ever noticed that you hear all the time about "accidental" pregnancies, but never about couples who experience "accidental" adoptions? Can you imagine:

Honey, sit down. I have some news for you.

What is it?

Well, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just come out with it. I went out to the mailbox today and ... well, we got an I-171H.
A what?!?! An I-171H? As in, we're going to have another baby?!?

It looks that way.

But how? We've been so careful! I put away all the blank 1-600A forms. Didn't you hide our homestudy update?

Of course I did. But don't forget, there was that one night ...

What night? (pauses) Ohhh, that night. But it was only once. We were just messing around. I didn't print clearly. I didn't even use black ink! (pauses again) But it was kind of fun. (giggles)

It was, wasn't it? I'll never forget how cute you looked getting your fingerprints.

So now we've got our I171H, eh? But that doesn't always mean you'll adopt, does it? I mean, shouldn't you see the agency or something, make sure everything's okay?

I already did.

And?

I'm five documents along.

Five documents!

And they're all notarized, certified and authenticated, okay?

Just great.

There was one small scare when the agency couldn't see the notary's middle initial, but it showed up just fine under the magnifying glass.

Thank God. And you, honey? Are you feeling okay?

I'm feeling fine. As long as I know you're happy about this.

Happy? I'm thrilled! It's always a shock at first when something like this happens, but of course I'm happy.