journey with jei jei & mei mei

Life

2009-08-14T21:18:00.012-04:00

Wow. I can't believe it's the middle of August. Where has the summer gone? Not much time to blog anymore. Let's hope a picture really is worth a thousand words ...

A different perspective ...

2009-05-26T22:09:00.005-04:00

A Different Perspective

For anyone considering adoption, please read this article.

November 01, 2006 / Cynthia Hockman-Chupp

Imagine for a moment....

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by soul mate, for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the worldthe person who will be with you for the rest of your life. The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face. But it's not him! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man?

Where is your beloved?
You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back. . .even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay. But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him? Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact. Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it. More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried. The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you. You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy. The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to get along. You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair. Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black. You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness. Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

How would each of us handle all these changes?

How would this impact us for the rest of our lives?

The end of a journey?

2009-03-09T06:00:00.003-04:00

We have Mei Mei!

Finally, after 3 plus years of waiting!

It's been a challenging trip, but as the saying goes - "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger." So far, Elizabeth has been an outstanding big sister. She has altered her initial opinion about baby sister, however - she's gone from "Baby sister's the cutest baby ever!" to "Baby sister is the loudest baby ever!" She's also made some basic observations - "She's almost as pretty as I am," and "Our baby's cuter than yours,"(made to another family in our group). Never a dull moment with a 5-year-old around.

The end of a journey? Nope, just the beginning of a new one ...

You might be adopting from China if ...

2009-02-24T21:31:00.002-05:00

... you know that I-600 & I-171 aren't highways.

... you've been expecting a baby for over 3 years.

... you understand that it's 2006 in some parts of the world.

... you've "paid for" 3 immigration approvals, but never brought anyone into the U.S.

... you know that waiting for China has nothing to do with Dillards or dishes.

... your homestudy is followed by a number (i.e. #3 or #4).

... you never know how many days next month will have.

... you know that babies come in batches.

... you've been fingerprinted four times, but never committed a crime.

... you automatically assume everyone who is expecting is having a girl.

... you own new clothing in 3 little sizes for all 4 seasons (because you don't know when or how big).

... you look twice when you see a ladybug.

... you're more interested in what will happen in March 2006 than in March 2009.

... you know people who understand when you talk about 2 day months & 5 day months.

... your due date hasn't changed by days, but by years.

... you know who the Rumor Queen is.....AND you don't know who she is.

... you know that forecast doesn't have anything to do with the weather.

... you've waited so long, they re-checked your fingerprints to see if they changed.

... trying to understand why they're printing you again, you study your own fingerprints and wonder if fingerprints grow wrinkles.

... when you speak of "that time of month" you're talking about CCAA updates & referrals.

You might be adopting from China if you love someone you've never met with all your heart.

Author Unknown

Doin' the happy dance ...

2009-02-21T13:41:00.004-05:00

We're doin' the happy dance here! We have our travel dates and are ready to roll! Stay tuned ...

Still waiting ...

2009-02-17T19:40:00.012-05:00

Still no word from our agency on definite travel dates. It makes no sense - unless it's the "Less You Have To Do, The Less You Do" theory. Referrals are way down - so what the heck is everybody doing??

It's now more than 7 weeks since our referral. I'm following blogs of folks who received their referral the same day we did and are in China with their babies right now! When we traveled the first time, we were there and back 7 weeks after our referral. Is it China? Is it our agency? Is it the US Consulate?

I don't even know where to target my frustration, and it doesn't really matter. Right now, we're powerless to do anything about it. But watch out - I can't imagine it's good Karma keeping a baby from her mama!

New Birthday Pictures!

2009-02-11T20:09:00.007-05:00

Our Local Chinese New Year Celebration!

2009-02-08T20:02:00.009-05:00

The pictures say it all ...

Happy Birthday, Yun Yi!

2009-02-04T20:18:00.006-05:00

Today was Yun Yi's 1st birthday and this was the cake that we arranged to be sent to her through Ann at Red Thread China. The orphanage was kind enough to send a couple of pictures, including 1 of Yun Yi and her friends waiting for their share of cake. What a happy girl! She grows more beautiful with each passing day, don't you think?

Not much happening ...

2009-02-03T21:01:00.004-05:00

There's not much going on right now. We have our Visas. Our I-600A extension was approved last week and an updated I-171H is on the way (ours expired 1/31/09). We're just waiting for our TA (Travel Approval). I'm not sure why it's taking so long. I know that a few of the families that received their referrals on the same day we received ours are leaving for China in 2 days. I'm happy for them, but feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Yun Yi's 1st birthday is tomorrow. I'm hoping her nannies will take lots of pictures of her with the birthday cake we've sent. Elizabeth came up with the idea of making "Fairy Cakes" tomorrow to celebrate her baby sister's birthday. Fairy cakes are pink cupcakes sprinkled with fairy-dust (or candy sprinkles, whichever you happen to have in your cupboard). She got the idea from Charlie & Lola and tells me Fairy Cakes are a must for a successful birthday party. So, she and Dada will be busy baking while Mama works. She's going to be a great big sister ...

Once there were two women ...

2009-01-27T14:59:00.008-05:00

From the book: Motherbridge of Love
(Illustrated by Josee Masse)

Once there were two women
Who hardly knew each other
One you do not remember
The other you call mother
Two different lives shaped to make yours one
One becoming your guiding star
The other became your sun
The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live in it
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it
One gave you nationality
The other gave you a name
One gave you the seed of talent
The other gave you an aim
One gave you emotions
The other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile
The other dried your tears
The age old questions through the years;
Heredity or environment -
which are you the product of?
Both my darling - both
And two different kinds of love!

Xin Nian Kuai Le! (Happy New Year!)

2009-01-26T20:16:00.007-05:00

Unlike it's Western counterpart the Chinese New Year (also known as Spring Festival) is steeped in tradition and superstition. It is the most important of all Chinese holidays as it is a time of year to welcome a prosperous year, acknowledge and renew family ties and cleanse and refresh the home.

Chinese New Year is celebrated over a period of time. It is celebrated from the first day of the First Moon of the lunar calender. So this can be anytime between January 21st to February 19th. The festivities and preparations begin in December of the current year, and can extend well into the New Year.

This allows time to create, renovate and celebrate one of the most amazing cultures of our world.

House Cleaning Traditions

Sweeping out the old year and welcoming in the new year begins long before New Year's Day. All debts must be cleared and new ones must not be undertaken at this time, lest they block prosperity from entering the household. The entire house must be cleaned from top to bottom. The regrets and bad influences of the previous year must be scrubbed away before the house can accept the good fortune of the upcoming year. Doorframes and insulation are reinforced to keep it in. All cleaning and any cutting and trimming, even of hair or fingernails, must be completed before the special day and the materials stored away, lest the good luck accidentally be swept away also.

After the house is cleaned up and debts cleared, the color red is applied to home and occupations to usher in happiness (gong xi) and prosperity (facai). Red mud is applied to the wooden and mud houses to strengthen the window and door frames and seal in the new luck. Where only the cooking fire lights up the home daily, red lanterns are brought out to light up the doorways and bring cheer to passersby and mark the household for visitors.

There is another reason why red adorns both structure and people. The Chinese believe that in winter, the monster named Nian in Chinese is released to eat up human beings. However, it is afraid of the color red and will shy away from anything dressed in red. Moreover, it is also afraid of loud happy noise, hence the emergence of the fire crackers to scare it away and loud beatings of drums to celebratory lion and dragon dances.

At any point after New Year's Day, the floors are once again swept, but this time in a specific pattern, working from the doors toward the center of the house, to hold in the good fortune of the family. To sweep the dirt out over the threshold during this festival is to sweep one of the family away. The rubbish is then carefully removed to a corner of the room, so that no one accidentally tramples it. It may not be thrown out until the fifth day of the festival, and then it must leave by the back door.

Family Traditions

On the last day of the old year, families come together over a reunion dinner in the home of the eldest member of the family and reminisce (shou sui) about the year gone by. Fish and chicken are always included, symbolising abundance and prosperity; and sometimes leftovers are left deliberately so that there may be surpluses every year (which sounds almost the same as "may there be fish every year"). Other traditional foods at this time are also homophones for good fortune and other desirable things; while the traditional dumplings of northern parts of China resemble gold nuggets. After dinner, the house is given a quick final cleaning. Then the women of the family lay out food and offerings for the ancestors and gods on the family altar, and as midnight approaches, prayers are offered and every window and door in the house is opened. Traditional observance also calls for all fires to be extinguished as well: there is to be no cooking on New Year's Day. Children are encouraged to actively participate throughout, staying up until midnight to greet their parents in the new year, as this is believed to enhance the longevity of their parents.

Blooming plants are brought into the house to accompany the platters of oranges and candies and the special plum tree, living symbols of rebirth and new growth and success in one's career. Without flowers, there can be no fruits. Fortunate the household whose plant comes into bloom exactly on New Year's Day, for that family will have a year of prosperity. The house is decorated in red and gold, the walls are hung with wishes for good fortune written on red paper, and red lanterns are brought outside to light up the night.

The candy trays have their own special significance. Shaped like a circle or octagon (eight-sided, for good fortune), the Tray of Togetherness contains eight different types of candy:

* candied melon (for growth and good health)
* coconut (for togetherness)
* cumquat (gold, for prosperity)
* longnan (for many sons)
* lotus seeds (for many children)
* lychee nut (for strong family relationships)
* melon seeds (dyed red, for truth, sincerity, and happiness)
* peanuts (for long life)

Adults who take candy from the tray leave red envelopes containing money (hong bao) in the centre compartment of the tray. The amount is always even, but never in fours (4 is the number of death).

At midnight of the New Year, the drums start beating, the firecrackers erupt, and the lion and dragon dances begin, chasing away the ancient man-eating monster called "nian" - which translates to "year". The hungry old year tries forever to devour people, but at the new year it is chased away with red fortune and loud noises.

Honoring Friends and Neighbors

As New Year's Day goes, so follows the rest of the year. The deities of heaven and earth are welcomed into the home. Everyone gets dressed in (often new) red clothing, even the sick, because it is unlucky to greet anyone in their bedroom. It is a visiting day, and some consult an almanac to determine the most auspicious direction to head out of the house in the morning. To see or hear songbirds, swallows, or red-coloured birds (in midwinter!) is very auspicious. It is traditional to bring a gift of oranges or tangerines, especially with the leaves intact, and a hong bao when visiting at any time during the New Year festival. It is also traditional for the host to leave the guest with a gift of oranges or tangerines, the same number as was brought but never the exact same fruit, for this would be to disrespect the well-wishing of the guest.

Especially, everyone refrains from disharmony of any kind during this day. Guests are offered only sweet drinks and foods, never anything sour or spicy, so that they might have a sweet disposition. Negative words such as the number four are carefully avoided. Knives and scissors may not be used, since this may cut off good fortune; nor can hair be washed, lest the luck wash out of the house. Those who extinguished fires at midnight must not now light them: so all food to be consumed today must already have been cooked, probably as part of yesterday's feast. Children are given more freedom to be mischievous on this day than on any other (and are given hong bao even so!): for if they cry this day, they will cry for the rest of the year. Death and dying absolutely must not be mentioned, nor can the old year be referred to in any way. It is a new year, and a new beginning.

Other Traditions

The second and third days are for prayers and visiting the graves of ancestors. Married daughters visit their birth parents on the second day, whom their husbands will also meet on the third and fourth days. No other relatives should be visited on the third, fourth, or fifth day, lest an unwanted argument erupt. It is also a special day for the pet dog, for this day is held to be the birthday of all dogs.

On the fifth day, Po Woo, people stay home to welcome the god of wealth. Obviously it is a very poor idea to go visiting during this day! Visits do resume immediately afterward, however. In northern China, the future flow of wealth is greeted with a feast of "gold nugget" dumplings.

Most people celebrate birthdays and count themselves one year older on the seventh day of the New Year festival, the common man's birthday (renri), with traditional birthday fare of long sweet noodles, red-dyed eggs, and peach-shaped buns with a sweet paste of red bean or lotus at their hearts (sou tao, literally "longevity peach"). Expatriate Chinese may also include a raw fish salad known as yusheng. Because the very long noodles represent longevity, every effort must be made to eat the noodles without cutting or biting them short.

Starting at midnight on the ninth day, prayers and offerings are made to the Jade Emperor of Heaven, giving thanks for his protection. Some regions of China also hold another family reunion dinner before the prayers. The next few days of the festival continue to be visiting days, but the rate of activity is slowly winding down. Stores have reopened, and business is slowly getting back to normal.

On the fifteenth and last day of the New Year festival, also known as the Lantern Festival, candles and lanterns are again lit outside homes and families also walk the street with lit lanterns, this time to guide lost spirits home.

Gong Xi Fa Cai! (Wishing you prosperity!)

The New First Family ...

2009-01-20T18:15:00.003-05:00

New photos!

2009-01-15T22:41:00.019-05:00

Just look at our beautiful girl! Ann (from Red Thread China) contacted Yun Yi's orphanage and was able to get us an update - pictures and all! She's now over 28 inches tall, weighs 16.5 lbs, and has 4 teeth. You can see her standing tall, something her sister was unable to do at that age. What wonderful caregivers she must have and what a difference it makes being at a Half-The-Sky Center!

We arranged for a care package to be sent to Yun Yi through Red Thread China (http://redthreadchina.com/). We sent her a soft pink musical teddy bear and a warm cuddly blanket, so that when we go to meet her next month she will have something familiar to bring with her and hold on to. We understand how stressful this will be for her and want to make the transition as smooth as possible. We also included some fine tea as well as candy and a cake for all of the staff and children to celebrate the New Year and Yun Yi's upcoming 1st birthday. We deeply appreciate all the love and care they've given Yun Yi this last year and are more grateful than can ever be expressed.

I have to say it again ... isn't she just the cutest little thing?!! Just love that Mohawk - Elizabeth thinks "it kind of looks like Mama's hair in the morning." And dang, if she isn't right!

Where is Mei Mei?

2008-12-31T06:54:00.013-05:00

Mei Mei is waiting for us in Maoming, Guangdong, China. Coincidentally (if you believe in coincidence), it is right "next door" to Huazhou where her big sister spent the 1st year of her life. The two locations can easily be seen on the lower map (click to enlarge). It is about a "4-6 hour train ride" to Guangzhou, where we will likely be based. (Guangzhou is where the US Consulate is located.)

Introducing Mei Mei ...

2008-12-29T20:34:00.013-05:00

Oh, so worth the wait ...

A stork sighting ... ?

2008-12-29T11:12:00.005-05:00

Rumor has it that referrals are on their way for those with LIDs (log-in-dates) through 2/28/06. Our LID is 2/27/06. I probably shouldn't get my hopes up, but I just can't help it!

Fly stork fly!

Christmas Dresses

2008-12-27T21:13:00.006-05:00

My mother-in-law made these charming dresses for her granddaughter and great-granddaughter to wear on Christmas Eve. She's actually quite an accomplished seamstress. Unfortunately, the picture doesn't do them justice. Elizabeth's dress was a dazzling red trimmed with green beads and Brianna's dress was a gorgeous green trimmed with red beads. The girls looked absolutely beautiful and were able to twirl to their hearts' content. It was a wonderful gift.

A Christmas Lesson

2008-12-25T20:12:00.004-05:00

"Is there a purpose? Why are we here?"
A little boy asked as the yuletide drew near.
"I really do hope that someday I will know
the reason we stand out here in the snow,
ringing this bell as people walk by,
while thousands of snowflakes
descend from the sky."

The mother just smiled at her shivering son
who would rather be playing and having some fun
but soon would discover before evening was done
the meaning of Christmas
the very first one.

The young boy exclaimed, "Mother where does it go?"
"All the pennies we collect - every year in the snow."
"Why do we do it? Why do we care?"
"We worked for these pennies,
so why should we share?"

"Because once a baby - so meek and so mild
was born in a manger - so humble the child
the son of a King - was born in this way
to give us the message
He carried that day.

"The present God gave the world on that night,
was the gift of his son to make everything right.
Why did he do it? Why did he care?
To teach about loving
and how we should share."

"The meaning of Christmas, you see my dear son,
is not about presents or just having fun
but the gift of a father - his own precious Son
so the world would be saved
when his work was all done"

Now the little boy smiled - with a tear in his eye
as snowflakes kept falling from out of the sky -
rang louder the bell as the people walked by
while down deep in his heart
at last he knew why.

Tom Krause

December referrals ...

2008-12-04T21:56:00.008-05:00

The rumors for this month have begun! So far, it sounds as if Santa will be bringing referrals for those with LIDs through 2/23/2006. We, of course, are 2/27/2006. But we can't be too upset about it because that means ... WE ARE NEXT!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T13:16:00.002-05:00

The loves of my life ...

2008-11-22T13:33:00.002-05:00

Frustration ...

2008-11-05T21:25:00.008-05:00

Well, it looks like a VERY small batch of referral days this month - AGAIN. The only LIDs that are definitively in are February 16th & 17th, 2006. It now looks as if we won't see our little one's face until sometime after the New Year. This is getting really, really old.

Yes, We Can!

2008-11-05T00:23:00.003-05:00

Remember how women got the vote?

2008-11-04T07:23:00.009-05:00

The women were innocent and defenseless. And by the end of the night, they were barely alive. Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing went on a rampage against the 33 helpless women wrongly convicted of "obstructing sidewalk traffic."

They beat Lucy Burn, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air. They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the "Night of Terror" on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.

For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms. When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

The movie "Iron Jawed Angels" is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. It is shocking to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy. The doctor admonished the men: "Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity."

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because--why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T21:41:00.006-04:00

Elizabeth was a pretty little kitty cat this year. Her costume was in stark contrast to her Goth teenage cousins, so they decided she could be their "familiar." And Elizabeth was a trooper. Her pumpkin basket got heavier and heavier as our neighbors filled it with lots of goodies, but she refused to let anyone carry it (or any portion of it) for her. By the time we got home, she was pretty much dragging it along the ground. The girl's got grit!

Happy Birthday, Lizzie Bear ...

2008-10-29T20:11:00.006-04:00

As I've mentioned before, Elizabeth really loves Wall-E & Eve and wanted a Wall-E & Eve birthday party. Now I'm not the most creative person in the world, but I thought I would try my hand at making a Wall-E birthday cake. It wasn't perfect, but she absolutely loved it. Phew!

Rumors ...

2008-10-28T20:57:00.009-04:00

Rumor has it that matching has begun, which means the next batch of referrals will soon be here. It's a longshot that our LID of 2/27/06 will be in, but stranger things have happened!

By the way, have you ever wondered how ladybugs came to symbolize China adoption? You see them on everything from blogs to adoption announcements, on jewelry and baby clothes. Although ladybugs represent good luck in many cultures, it seems that several years ago in China, as the international adoption programs were beginning to take off, there was a fall season where the ladybug population grew unusually large. This was thought to be a lucky charm for those that were adopting, so now whenever ladybugs are seen, it is said that more beautiful children are being referred to their waiting parents and families.

New England

2008-10-27T20:54:00.025-04:00

We took a few days and drove to Gloucester, MA for a mini-vacation. It was a bit past "peak," but the colors were gorgeous. En route to Gloucester, we stopped in Old Sturbridge Village. The largest outdoor history museum in the Northeast, OSV is a journey through time to a rural New England town of the 1830s. There are more than 40 original buildings, each carefully researched, restored, and brought to the museum site from towns throughout New England. These include homes, meetinghouses, a district school, country store, bank, law office, printing office, carding mill, sawmill, gristmill, pottery, blacksmith shop, shoe shop, and cooper shop. Authentically costumed staff carry out the daily activities of an early 19th-century community. Here you may wander country roads and visit with a farmer plowing fields, listen to the blacksmith's rhythmic hammering, or smell the aroma of bread baking in a fireplace oven. I even tried my hand at dipping candles, while Jim and Elizabeth made a tin candle holder for my tapers.

We then moved on to Gloucester, MA. America's oldest seaport, Gloucester is part of Cape Ann and located 30 miles northeast of Boston. The main portion of Gloucester is an island, connected only by two bridges. Other towns making up "Cape Ann" are Rockport, Manchester and Essex. We spent some time shopping in Rockport and visited the Essex Shipbuilding Museum. The rest of our time was spent on the beach flying kites, collecting seashells and building sandcastles. Elizabeth asked us to find a house in Gloucester, so we could go to the beach every day. I think Jim was considering it. We did opt to stay at the oceanfront motel where we'd spent a night on our honeymoon some 17 years ago, and this was the sunrise from our balcony. Worth every penny.

Elizabeth is a great traveler. She passed the hours in the car drawing in her activity books, making rainbows on her Light Brite, and playing Leapster games (as well as an occasional "I Spy" game with Mama). She relished every new experience, well, except for one. The Whale Watch could have gone better. It turns out that our girl gets motion sickness. In all fairness, however, many of the folks on that trip got sick - it was a VERY rough ride (and I've got the bruises to prove it)! Still, after throwing up her toes, she mustered a smile and a "Wow!" when she saw the humpback whale. And it didn't take long for her to recover. As soon as her feet hit solid ground, she was ready to roll again. Looks like she's gonna be a landlubber like her Mama.

Despite the battering, I have to say that I got a real thrill out of seeing the animals in their natural habitat. We started out heading for the popular Stellwagen Bank, but the Captain changed course to Jeffreys Ledge after communicating with other boats. We weren't disappointed. We first saw a group of Atlantic dolphins that came right up alongside the boat. We then met a humpback whale named "Flask" (for a specific marking on his fluke). On the way back to Gloucester, we saw a Minke whale breach twice (or maybe it was 2 whales). The Naturalist on board (from the Whale Center of New England) said they believe that breaching is a form of communication between whales. It seemed logical as we then watched a humpback whale breach in the far distance, seemingly in response to the Minke whale(s).

In the end, although the stunning fall foliage and dramatic ocean vistas may have set the stage for a fabulous vacation, I think the 3 things I will remember most are: (1) the absolute pleasure Elizabeth took in building her sandcastle and decorating it with seashells she'd discovered along the shore, (2) watching Elizabeth fly a kite with her Dad, and (3) hearing Elizabeth laugh hysterically as she ran from the waves lapping at her feet. It just doesn't get any better.

We need your help ... NOW!

2008-10-08T12:40:00.028-04:00

As most of you know, there are many hoops to jump through when you decide to adopt a child. Even more so, when you try to adopt internationally. Throw new rules and governmental bureaucracy into that process midstream, and you have a real mess.

We are now what is called a "transition" family. The process to adopt has taken so long that our I-171H may expire before we can complete the adoption. Up until now, all we would have had to do was refile an I-600A form with an updated homestudy - but things have changed with the Hague Convention rules. Although we should be "grandfathered" in, there is some question as to whether or not we can request another extension of the I-600A or if we have to file the new I-800A, which is a bit more complicated and taking 6 months for approval (and many are being denied).

It's even worse for other families who have just found out that their adoption agencies are not Hague-accredited (ours is - yea, New Life!). Those folks may actually have to start all over with a new agency, which essentially means they lose their place in line. Some may have already been waiting more than 2 years! They would also have to file under China's new restrictions, which came into effect in 2007 - we would no longer qualify on the basis of age. It's a complicated mess, but if you want to read more you can check out the JCICS's position at http://www.jcics.org/I600APosition.htm.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO SIGN THIS PETITION - Adoption for All: The Fairness for Families Petition
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/adoption-for-all.html

You will be helping not only adoptive parents but the waiting children as well. If you find you have the time and inclination to do more, try these 5 suggestions (http://www.jcics.org/5WaystoHelp.htm). BTW - in case we haven't told you lately, we are so grateful for (and appreciative of) all the love and support our family and friends have given us since we began our adoption journey over 5 years ago. We never could have imagined the rewards it would bring and I thank God everyday not only for Elizabeth, but for all of you who made it possible for us to become a family. You're the best!

Fall is in the air ...

2008-10-05T21:59:00.005-04:00

The next batch of babies!!

2008-09-29T20:54:00.011-04:00

Referrals have arrived for those with LIDs of 2/10-15/2006 (including 2 sets of twins, a set of twin girls and a set of TWIN BOYS - something I've never seen before)! These dates include a weekend, so it's actually 4 LIDs. We're now 12 days away from our LID of 12/27/2006 - 8 actual LIDs. If CCAA keeps this pace, we can expect to see our little one's face in early December and hopefully travel before the Chinese New Year. Congrats to all the new mamas and babas! You can peep at these pretties on RQ's site at http://chinaadopttalk.com/.

The next batch of rumors ...

2008-09-26T10:40:00.002-04:00

It appears the next batch of referrals will start arriving next week. No cut off date, yet, but sounding as if we'll get anywhere from 3-6 actual LIDs in the bunch. That would bring us to 2/14-17/2006, and that much closer to our LID of 2/27/2006. A December referral is still possible.

Autumn Moon Festival

2008-09-21T20:17:00.026-04:00

This weekend we celebrated the Autumn Moon Festival with other local families with children from China. In Chinese culture, it is a time to reconnect with family and loved ones, and much like our Thanksgiving, it is a time for gratitude and appreciation. For me (and perhaps for E down the road), it is a symbolic way to connect with a birth family, who, although far away, are held close in our hearts.

It was a day of play for the kids with various games and crafts. Who knew I could actually make a Chinese yoyo spin? Several of the students from the Chinese Student Association at the U of R joined in the fun. There was a fashion show and lantern parade, followed by a pot-luck dinner and slide show. And last but not least, was the story teller. The Chinese tell a fascinating legend at the time of the Autumn Moon Festival and this was the version the story teller shared with us (dating back to around 2170 B.C.), with the help of several of the children who acted out the tale as it unfolded:

On the other side of the world is a country with a long and rich history. That country is China. China has many traditions. One of those is called the Moon Festival. Every year in China, on the 15th night of the 8th lunar month, the Chinese people celebrate the Moon Festival. The moon is the most full and bright on that night, they believe, because a husband and wife who lost one another are reunited on the moon.

This is the story of Hou Yi and Chang Er.

Once upon a time there was a famous archer, Hou Yi, who with his arrows was able to slay mankind’s worst enemies, ferocious beasts that inhabited the earth. Yi was married to Chang Er, a beautiful but inquisitive woman who had been an attendant of the queen mother of the west before her marriage. Now at this time, there were 10 suns that took turns circling the earth-one every 10 days. One day, all 10 of the orbs circled, together, causing the earth’s surface to burn and threatening mankind. The wise emperor of China summoned Yi and commanded him to shoot down all but one of the suns. This Yi proceeded to do. Upon the completion of his task, Yi was rewarded with a pill, the elixir of life, and advised: "make no haste to swallow this pill, but first prepare yourself with prayer and fasting for a year." Being a wise man, Yi took the pill home and hid it under a rafter while he began healing his spirit. In the midst of this, Yi was summoned again by the emperor.

While her husband was gone, Chang Er noticed a beam of white light beckoning from the rafter. She followed it and a fragrant perfume, discovered the pill and swallowed it. Immediately, Chang Er found she could fly. Just at that moment her husband returned home. Yi quickly realized what had happened and before he could begin to reprimand his wife, she flew out the window into the sky. Yi sped after Chang Er, bow in hand, and the pursuit continued halfway across the heavens. Finally, Yi had to return to the earth because of the force of the wind.

His wife reached the moon and there, breathless, she coughed. And because part of the pill fell from her mouth, it is there that she came to rest. Now, the hare was already on the moon and Chang Er commanded the animal to take pestle and mortar and pound another pill so that she could return to earth and her husband. The hare is still pounding.

How did the hare get on the moon you ask? Well, there's a legend for that as well: Three sages transformed themselves into pitiful old men and begged for something to eat from a fox, a monkey and a rabbit. The fox and the monkey both had food to give to the old men, but the rabbit, empty-handed, offered his own flesh instead, jumping into a blazing fire to cook himself. The fairies were so touched by the rabbit's sacrifice that they let him live in the Moon Palace where he became the "Jade Rabbit."

As for Yi, he built himself a palace in the sun as Yang (the sun and the male principle). His beloved Chang Er as Yin (the moon and the female principle), resides in the Moon Palace.

Once a year, on the 15th day of the full moon, Yi visits his wife. That is why the moon is full and beautiful on that night.

To celebrate Hou Yi's and Chang Er’s night of love, the Chinese people celebrate the Moon Festival. They eat Moon Cakes, which have a very special meaning. A long time ago the Mongols took over China and they were very cruel to the people. A brave Chinese man named Liu Fu Tong made little cakes in the shape of the moon. Inside each cake he hid a written message that told the people, "On the 15th night of the 8th month, rise up and fight the Mongols to take back our land," and the Chinese people took back their country.

Every culture has its legends and heroes. We all live and die, and hopefully - somewhere in the middle of all that living and dying - we learn to love. Do you think we'll ever figure out that we are more alike than we are different?

WALL*E

2008-09-11T20:40:00.007-04:00

WALL*E (short for Waste Allocation Load Lifter * Earth-class) is undoubtedly the most engaging superhero of the summer. Whether you're 4 or 40, you're gonna fall for him. Elizabeth particularly likes the vacuum vignette video. She laughs uncontrollably every time she sees it. So, go ahead. Click on WALL*E. And just try not to be charmed.

More referrals ...

2008-09-06T22:15:00.004-04:00

Referrals have arrived for those with LIDs of 2/1/2006 through 2/9/2006. Of those 9 days, only 4 were of actual log-in-dates (LIDs). It turns out that 2/1-5/2006 fell during Chinese New Year. Still, 4 days is twice as many as last month. Our LID is 2/27/2006, so our best guess is a referral in December and travel sometime after the 1st of the year. But it's just a guess.

A Trip Home ...

2008-09-01T21:55:00.020-04:00

For most of us 315ers from Oswego County, summer would not be complete without at least 1 trip to "The Loop," where we would go to Rudy's for the best fish sandwich, hamburger hot or Hoffman's coney that you can find. In fact, folks who used to live there (myself included) like to stop by Rudy's when they go back to visit, as we did today.

More than 60 years ago, Rudy's started out as a tiny little lakeside stand that had a small menu but a big following. Over the years, Rudy's has expanded and is now much larger than when they first opened. Located on the shores of Lake Ontario, Rudy's is just on the edge of the SUNY Oswego campus. Actually, the easiest way to get to Rudy's is to go through the campus itself, but watch out for those campus police because they enforce their campus speed limit with an iron fist!

Inside Rudy's, the atmosphere is controlled chaos. You go up to the counter to place your order, which they write down on the back of a paper plate. You're given a slip of paper with a number on it, then you wait (and watch) while they make your food. And there really aren't any lines to the counter per se, you just kind of join the throng of people and somehow, everyone eventually makes it up there. When you finally get your food, it's loaded into a cardboard box tray. Your soda comes in a can, your beer in a bottle and your milk is the kind you got with your school lunch. There really aren't very many places to sit down inside Rudy's, but that's OK since you don't go there to eat inside. There are dozens of picnic tables lakeside and that is where you really want to eat (if you don't mind an occasional stinky dead fish) because the view is just extraordinary.

After dinner, it's down to the water to skip a few rocks into the lake. You would think that after more than 60 years of people skipping rocks into Lake Ontario that the lakeside would be devoid of rocks but somehow, they're still there year after year. I would imagine that several of those rocks have made it into the homes and aquariums of many central New Yorkers. In fact, I can attest that at least 1 has made it to Rochester.

After skipping rocks, it's time for dessert. Rudy's serves dessert, but those "in-the-know" never go to Rudy's for dessert. After dinner and rock-skipping, walk on down to the little ice cream stand called "Bev's" and get your ice cream there. Then sit on a bench or at a picnic table and eat your ice cream while the sun sets over the lake. It is just so beautiful, and I've always experienced a sense of peace and contentment there. Maybe it's because it's a memory my parents gave to me. And maybe it's a memory that we can give to our daughters.

Gotta Dance!

2008-08-23T21:02:00.002-04:00

Coxsackie!

2008-08-09T14:08:00.010-04:00

I've been a bit lax on the blogging lately. Our usually very healthy girl picked up a Coxsackie virus at preschool and came down with Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease. What a nasty little bug! Although highly contagious, it's considered a "mild" virus. Mild? It caused such painful ulcerations in her throat, and on her tongue, cheeks, gums and hard palate, that it was difficult for her to eat, sleep or even talk. And although complications are rare, I worried about possible viral meningitis, encephalitis and myocarditis.

Hydration and pain control are the keys to suviving the 7-10 day period of misery and suffering. My professional recommendations (and what helped us survive) include: Alternating acetaminophen and ibuprofen every 3 hours while the ulcers are present, using diphenhydramine to help with sleep at night, and providing chocolate milkshakes laced with Carnation Instant Breakfast ad lib. She's the picture of health now, but I have to admit that after more than a week of averaging 3 hours of sleep a night, I was feeling more like something the cat dragged in (or threw up).

Oh, to be 4 (or even 40) again ...

Next batch of referrals ...

2008-08-09T13:54:00.008-04:00

I thought I'd use a snail (instead of a stork) to announce that referrals are in the air. Why? Because there are only 2 days worth of LIDs in this batch. CAN IT GET ANY SLOWER??? Congratulations to those with LIDs of 1/26-27/2006.

Corn Hill Arts Festival

2008-07-19T14:07:00.017-04:00

Last weekend, we went to the Corn Hill Arts Festival. Corn Hill is Rochester's oldest residential neighborhood, long known as "The Third Ward." Flour millers and merchants built impressive homes during Rochester's first growth spurt after the building of the Erie Canal in the 1820s & 30s. Rochesterians called the neighborhood "The Ruffled Shirt Ward" because of the prosperity of its residents with their substantial homes & mansions of architectural diversity & style. Founding meetings were held here for the University of Rochester & Rochester General Hospital.

The advent of income tax, two World Wars, and the construction of super highways in the 20th century caused the resplendent days of the Third Ward to diminish. Large houses were made into apartments. The construction of I-490 cut through the north portion of the Third Ward. Its path cleared many houses standing in the way. Rochester's first mayor and early leaders once lived in the area demolished in the name of "progress."

The Urban Renewal Program of the 1960s threatened to take what was left of the Third Ward. Rochester would lose an important part of its historic homes & heritage. In 1964, the Landmark Society did architectural surveys of surviving homes to persuade the government to include a conservation area in the urban renewal plan. Residents who worked to revive the neighborhood formed an organization to promote & protect the area, named "The Corn Hill Neighbors Association." The name was taken from early land deeds in the area known as "The Corn Hill Tract."

In 1968, a group of artists living on Greenwood Street organized a small arts festival, which grew into the annual Corn Hill Arts Festival. Now listed as one of the top 200 festivals in the U.S., over 250,000 people converge on this small neighborhood each year to view the wares of over 500 of the country's finest artists and craftspeople. And we were no exception!

Babies!!

2008-07-10T14:49:00.013-04:00

Referrals have arrived for those with LIDs of 1/21-25/2006, and there are some BEAUTIFUL babies! If you want to see those sweet, sweet faces, you can check out the blogs of the very happy parents through RQ's site (http://chinaadopttalk.com/2008/07/07/babies-13/) Some day it will be us, some day ...

Happy 4th Of July!

2008-07-04T22:32:00.004-04:00

"A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free People." -- The Declaration of Independence, 1776

The Declaration of Independence

2008-07-04T07:21:00.003-04:00

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume, among the Powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That, to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the consent of the governed. That, whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such Principles and organizing its Powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and, accordingly, all experience hath shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But, when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security. Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of People, unless those People would relinquish the right of Representation in the legislature; a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their Public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing, with manly firmness, his invasions on the rights of the People.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative Powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the Population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws of Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary Powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harass our People, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of Peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil Power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us, in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences:

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with Power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his protection, and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the Lives of our People.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens, taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions, We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free People.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred, to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in GENERAL CONGRESS assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the rectitude of our intentions, DO, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly PUBLISH and DECLARE, That these United Colonies are, and of Right, ought to be free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that, as FREE and INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. AND for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Signed by ORDER and in BEHALF of the CONGRESS
JOHN HANCOCK, President

Attest.
CHARLES THOMSON, Secretary

New Hampshire: JOSIAH BARTLETT, WILLIAM WHIPPLE, MATTHEW THORNTON

Massachusetts-Bay: SAMUEL ADAMS, JOHN ADAMS, ROBERT TREAT PAINE, ELBRIDGE GERRY

Rhode Island: STEPHEN HOPKINS, WILLIAM ELLERY

Connecticut: ROGER SHERMAN, SAMUEL HUNTINGTON, WILLIAM WILLIAMS, OLIVER WOLCOTT

Georgia: BUTTON GWINNETT, LYMAN HALL, GEO. WALTON

Maryland: SAMUEL CHASE, WILLIAM PACA, THOMAS STONE, CHARLES CARROLL OF CARROLLTON

Virginia: GEORGE WYTHE, RICHARD HENRY LEE, THOMAS JEFFERSON, BENJAMIN HARRISON, THOMAS NELSON, JR., FRANCIS LIGHTFOOT LEE, CARTER BRAXTON.

New York: WILLIAM FLOYD, PHILIP LIVINGSTON, FRANCIS LEWIS, LEWIS MORRIS

Pennsylvania: ROBERT MORRIS, BENJAMIN RUSH, BENJAMIN FRANKLIN, JOHN MORTON, GEORGE CLYMER, JAMES SMITH, GEORGE TAYLOR, JAMES WILSON, GEORGE ROSS

Delaware: CAESAR RODNEY, GEORGE READ, THOMAS M'KEAN

North Carolina: WILLIAM HOOPER, JOSEPH HEWES, JOHN PENN

South Carolina: EDWARD RUTLEDGE, THOMAS HEYWARD, JR., THOMAS LYNCH, JR., ARTHUR MIDDLETON

New Jersey: RICHARD STOCKTON, JOHN WITHERSPOON, FRANCIS HOPKINS, JOHN HART, ABRAHAM CLARK

Referrals ...

2008-07-03T13:16:00.006-04:00

Looks like the referrals are on their way for families with LIDs of 1/21-25/2006. Half the size of last month's batch. Pretty depressing. And although it still appears we'll have our referral and see our child's face before the end of the year, I can't help but feel badly for all of those waiting families in line behind us.

Lepidoptera!!

2008-06-25T20:49:00.021-04:00

Elizabeth received a "Butterfly Garden" for Christmas from her Aunt Debie. Now this was a really cool gift that we all enjoyed! We chose to wait until the weather warmed up and then sent for the mail-order Painted Lady butterfly larvae. We received a small plastic cup with 5 bristly caterpillars that we watched spin silken webs and eat special food for about a week or so. They then climbed to the top of the container, each suspending themselves from a single silk thread, and formed cocoons. Once all of the caterpillars were in the pupa stage, we carefully removed the top of the container that held the chrysalids and pinned it inside the Butterfly Garden to a mesh wall. And then we waited ... and waited ... and waited ... at least it seemed that way.

About 10 days later, 5 Painted Lady butterflies emerged and the metamorphosis was complete! It was quite amazing to see, but "kind of yucky" according to Elizabeth (the butterflies excreted meconium and she thought it was blood). We placed fresh-cut flowers and watermelon doused with sugar water inside the Garden and watched as each one dropped onto the food and used their proboscis to drink. They fluttered about and we enjoyed them for a couple of days before deciding to release them, so that they could live out the remainder of their life cycle (about 2 weeks) as nature intended.

The first 4 butterflies left us without looking back. The last one had to be coaxed out of its artificial habitat and then just sat on our deck seeming to think about things for a bit. When we picked it up to try and encourage it to follow its siblings, it flew to Jim and sat on him for a bit. I was beginnning to think we had a "special needs" butterfly. Finally, it seemed to grasp the concept and took a leap of faith. It didn't follow the others, but instead headed off in its own direction, against the wind and into the sunset. It was odd, but I felt a sense of concern as it initially struggled and then a sense of pride when it finally succeeded. Maybe I've taken this motherhood gig just a bit too far ...

Early rumors ...

2008-06-25T20:34:00.005-04:00

We're now hearing a couple of rumors from agencies that matching has begun and that it may be a bigger batch of referrals this month. We could hear something as early as next week ... or not. Are you beginning to understand how this works?

Happy Father's Day, Dada ...

2008-06-15T21:42:00.009-04:00

Elizabeth & Dada flying a kite on vacation near Mystic, CT.

"I'm gonna watch you shine
Gonna watch you grow
Gonna paint a sign
So you'll always know
As long as one and one is two
There could never be a father who loved his daughter
more than I love you"

Father & Daughter - Paul Simon

Happy Father's Day, Dad ...

2008-06-15T20:49:00.013-04:00

I love you, Dad.

"... We may not shower him with praise
Nor mention his name in song,
And sometimes it seems that we forget
The joy he spreads as he goes along,
But it doesn’t mean that we don’t know
The wonderful role that he has had.
And away down deep in every heart
There’s a place that is just for Dad."

- Author Unknown

Job opportunity ...

2008-06-14T22:47:00.009-04:00

"NURSING is a womanly, lucrative profession, graduates earning $12 to $30 a week. Our courses require no unusual ability - only earnest, faithful effort. They are especially adapted to the young woman seeking a life vocation and to the practical nurse who needs a thorough knowledge of the theory of her profession. A treatise, giving full information, mailed to earnest applicants."

THE CHAUTAUQUA SCHOOL OF NURSING, 273 MAIN STREET, JAMESTOWN, N.Y.

(Advertisement, circa 1904)

Rules for Hiring Women (1943)

2008-06-14T21:55:00.007-04:00

The following is an actual excerpt from the July 1943 issue of Transportation Magazine. It was written for male supervisors of women in the work force during World War II - a mere 65 years ago. I now know that I can be amused and annoyed at the same time.

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees

There's no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they're less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that "husky" girls - those who are just a little on the heavy side - are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination - one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time - the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman - it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator's uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too much in keeping women happy.

The difference between words & pictures ...

2008-06-10T13:30:00.012-04:00

It's an eloquent way of saying "never quit." A nice sentiment, but a picture is worth a thousand words ...

The stork has landed ...

2008-06-09T20:40:00.015-04:00

Referrals have arrived for those lucky folks with LIDs through 1/20/2006, and pictures are starting to roll in. If you want to see some really cute babies, you can check out the blogs of some very happy parents linked to RQ's site (http://chinaadopttalk.com/) or China Adoption Stories (http://www.chineseadoptionstories.com/). When all is said and done, with a LID of 2/27/2006, it seems as though we might actually receive our referral sometime in the fall.

Dragon Boat Festival

2008-06-07T21:50:00.008-04:00

Today we went to FCC's annual Dragon Boat Festival. Officially falling on the fifth day of the fifth lunar month, the Dragon Boat Festival is also known as Double Fifth Day. While many stories regarding its origin abound, the most popular and widely accepted version involves Qu Yuan, a minister during the Warring States Period (475 - 221 BC). Qu Yuan served as minister to the Zhou Emperor. A wise and articulate man, he was loved by the common people. He did much to fight against the rampant corruption that plagued the court, thereby earning the envy and fear of other officials. So, when he urged the emperor to avoid conflict with the Qin Kingdom, the officials pressured the Emperor to have him removed from service.

In exile, Qu Yuan traveled, taught and wrote for several years. Hearing that the Zhou had been defeated by the Qin, he fell into despair and threw himself into the Milou River. Because he was so loved by the people, fishermen rushed out in long boats, beating drums to scare the fish away, and throwing zong zi into the water to feed braver fish so that they would not eat Qu Yuan's body. Some bedtime story, eh?

In modern times, Dragon Boat races are the most exciting part of the festival, drawing crowds of spectators. Dragon Boats are generally brightly painted and decorated canoes. Ranging anywhere from 40 to 100 feet in length, their heads are shaped like open-mouthed dragons, while the sterns end with a scaly tail. Depending on the length, up to 80 rowers can power the boat. A drummer and flag-catcher stand at the front of the boat. Before a dragon boat enters competition, it must be "brought to life" by painting the eyes in a sacred ceremony. Races can have any number of boats competing, with the winner being the first team to grab a flag at the end of the course. Annual races take place all over China, Hong Kong, Macao, Taiwan, and other overseas Chinese communities.

For our celebration, each family crafts a Dragon Boat out of cardboard and decorates it any way they choose. The kids then participate in a Dragon Boat parade to show off their creations. There are games and activities, and then all the children sit in a large make-shift "dragon boat" while someone reads them the story of Qu Yuan. There is also judging of the dragon boats in several categories, and I'm pleased to announce that Elizabeth won her first medal ever for having "The Coolest Dragon." As you can see in the pictures, she was absolutely thrilled to have won. And I have to admit, it is a pretty splendid dragon.

New rumors ...

2008-06-04T20:29:00.007-04:00

Almost too good to be true, but initial rumors are saying referrals are on their way for those with LIDs 1/13-22/2006. 10 days ... well, ok ... 6 actual work days ... but, hey ... that's TWICE the number of referral days we had last month!!

Keep your fingers crossed ...

A budding Picasso?

2008-06-01T22:07:00.007-04:00

A Self-Portrait ...
by Elizabeth

The new swingset ...

2008-06-01T21:11:00.008-04:00

Have I told you what a GREAT Dad my husband is? Not only is he "Mr. Mom" 3 days a week, but he took time off from work to build a mini-playground in the backyard for our daughter. He then took Elizabeth out and they bought some flowers, which he helped her plant in the flower box he had attached to her playhouse. They just don't make 'em any better than that ...

Rumors ...

2008-05-31T18:09:00.008-04:00

Rumor has it that matching has begun. Hopefully we'll hear something more by Monday morning. It appears that travel approvals will be affected by the earthquake and the Olympics, but not the actual referrals.

Memorial Day

2008-05-30T21:15:00.009-04:00

Although it's traditionally a day reserved to honor those that fought and died in the service of our country, many of us also observe Memorial Day to honor all of our loved ones who have crossed over. I remember my Mom & Dad planting flowers on the family graves every Memorial Day weekend. This year, my husband, daughter & I resurrected that tradition (so to speak).

We drove the hour and a half to my hometown, drove past the house I grew up in, then drove to the 2 cemeteries where my family members (ancestors even) are buried. We planted pretty pink flowers (Elizabeth's choice) and tidied up the plots. We waved and smiled at others doing the same. The weather held until the very last flower was planted and then, as we started to drive away, a gentle rain began to fall. It was just what the flowers needed ... right on cue. Thanks, Mom.

"Life is eternal;
and love is immortal;
And death is only a horizon;
And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight."
-Rossiter Worthington Raymond

Take a walk down the sunny dirt road ...

2008-05-30T20:32:00.007-04:00

The Strong National Museum of Play has a new permanent exhibit - The Berenstain Bears - and Elizabeth loves it! There are so many things for a 4-year-old to see, do, and be in Bear Country, that when she went there on a play date with her friend, April, they spent the entire time in that one exhibit. We pretty much had to drag 'em out of there when it was time to leave!

The journey down the sunny dirt road starts with life-size sculptures of the Bear family. After first stopping by The Bear Country Bank ATM to receive Bear Bucks (the official Bear Country currency), we walked down Bear Country Main Street and explored the stores and businesses inspired by Stan & Jan Berenstain's Bear books. There's Farmer Ben’s Farm, Sister and Brother Bear’s Club Houses, and the Bear Country School. Kids can design and sell quilts at Mama Bear’s Quilt Shop or put on an apron and tackle a project in Papa Bear’s Woodworking Shop. Hungry bears can head to Bear Family Restaurant, a kid-sized diner where you can play customer or be part of the staff. Dr. Bearson’s Dentist Office provides an opportunity to play dentist with a giant set of (removable) teeth, a giant toothbrush, floss, and a dentist’s mirror. It's a great way to spend an afternoon, just ask Elizabeth!

Lilac Festival 2008

2008-05-19T21:58:00.006-04:00

We went to the Lilac Festival last week and walked through the beautiful gardens at Highland Park. Although it's not my favorite festival here in Rochester (I prefer the Cornhill and Clothesline Art Festivals), it was nice to walk hand-in-hand in the sun with my daughter and watch her enjoy an Abbott's Frozen Custard. She rode on a pretty little black pony named Peanut, and fearlessly walked up on stage to dance with other children while a man named Mike played a ukulele and sang silly songs. When we got home, she drew a picture of our family with 2 of her friends alongside (all of us wearing glasses), saying that it is a picture of everything she likes. She then wrote her name very carefully along the bottom of it and we hung it on the refrigerator. That night, as we got ready for bed, I told her I loved her and then kissed the top of her head. She said, "I love you, too, Mama," then quietly added, "with all of my heart." It was the perfect ending to a perfect day.

China's Earthquake

2008-05-19T20:36:00.007-04:00

On Monday, May 12, at 2:28 pm. Beijing time, a major earthquake, measuring 7.9 on the Richter scale, jolted southwestern China's Sichuan Province. Earlier today, sirens wailed across China, from tent cities in Sichuan province to Beijing's Tiananmen Square, and millions of Chinese stood for three minutes to mourn the dead exactly 1 week after the quake struck. A 3-day period of national mourning has begun.

There are 69,107 people confirmed dead, with 18,230 still missing. Five million are now homeless. Parents lost children when schools crumbled. Many children are newly orphaned. Others still search. It's a tragedy of such magnitude that most of us can't even begin to comprehend. Thank God.

Half The Sky Foundation (HTS) has been wonderful about keeping the IA community up-to-date. They've been posting daily news and progress reports on their website as well as pictures and stories that showcase human beings at their best. Although we have not received a referral and have no way of knowing where our daughter may be, we will be donating through our adoption agency to the Red Cross Society of China. For those of you out there who also wish to help, HTS offers a couple of ways to do so. Please check out their website, and just try not cry.

(http://halfthesky.org/work/earthquake08.php/)

It's National Nurses Week!

2008-05-04T21:42:00.009-04:00

In honor of nurses and nurse educators everywhere ...

New referrals (and other rumors) ...

2008-04-30T16:47:00.009-04:00

Rumors are flying that referrals are on their way to families with LIDs of 1/10-12/2006. A mere 3 days. UGH!! But those aren't the only rumors flying ...

According to RQ, a European country has spoken with the CCAA and has this to report:
"-- CCAA says the waiting time will continue to increase and they don’t know how long it will get.
-- Domestic adoption within China is now four to five times the number of international adoptions out of China. IA will continue to decrease, but IA will always be needed, especially for SN children.
-- Approximately 8,000 children were adopted out internationally in 2007, compared with approximately 12,000 in earlier years.
-- They have slowed down the review process.
-- The CCAA will work as normal during the Olympics.
-- To help families plan travel around the Olympics, travel approvals will be given that last for five months instead of three months.
-- Last month half of the children adopted internationally were special needs. I can’t tell if they are saying it has been one third in the past, or if most months it is one third. But it is clear that last month it was half.
-- The new online system is working to find families for SN children faster. The system is new and the kinks are still being worked out, but it sounds like over all the CCAA is pleased with it.
-- There are a lot of five plus year old boys available.
-- The Tomorrow Plan is being extended indefinitely.
-- The CCAA is going to digitally archive all of their files, going back to 1994. This includes children’s documents, parent’s documents, and follow up reports for over 100,000 adoptions."

What impact will all of this have on us? I have absolutely no idea. Welcome to the world of International Adoption. All I know, is that we have a son or daughter waiting for us somewhere in China and that we're in this for the long haul.

Maxine and margaritas ...

2008-04-26T22:58:00.010-04:00

The Perfect Margarita:

Tip #1: Shaken, not stirred (and NEVER made in a blender).
Tip #2: Serve Margaritas straight up or on the rocks, NEVER frozen.
Tip #3: Use Kosher (not iodized) salt.
Tip #4: Never EVER drink and drive.

For Traditionalists: (3-2-1 recipe)
3 parts Tequila (100% blue agave)
2 parts Cointreau (never Triple sec)
1 part freshly squeezed lime juice.

-OR-

For Grand Marnier fans:
1 oz Tequila (100% blue agave)
1 oz Grand Marnier liqueur
1 oz freshly squeezed lime juice
(or try the 3-2-1 ratio)

Pour all ingredients over ice in a cocktail shaker. Shake to your liking and strain into a margarita glass rimmed with Kosher salt. Garnish with a lime wedge and ENJOY!

In honor of earth day ...

2008-04-23T21:24:00.021-04:00

Global warming is a very real threat.

• Average temperatures have climbed 1.4 degrees Fahrenheit (0.8 degree Celsius) around the world since 1880, much of this in recent decades, according to NASA's Goddard Institute for Space Studies.

• The rate of warming is increasing. The 20th century's last two decades were the hottest in 400 years and possibly the warmest for several millennia, according to a number of climate studies. And the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) reports that 11 of the past 12 years are among the dozen warmest since 1850.

• The Arctic is feeling the effects the most. Average temperatures in Alaska, western Canada, and eastern Russia have risen at twice the global average, according to the multinational Arctic Climate Impact Assessment report compiled between 2000 and 2004.

• Arctic ice is rapidly disappearing, and the region may have its first completely ice-free summer by 2040 or earlier. Polar bears and indigenous cultures are already suffering from the sea-ice loss.

• Glaciers and mountain snows are rapidly melting—for example, Montana's Glacier National Park now has only 27 glaciers, versus 150 in 1910. In the Northern Hemisphere, thaws also come a week earlier in spring and freezes begin a week later.

• Coral reefs, which are highly sensitive to small changes in water temperature, suffered the worst bleaching—or die-off in response to stress—ever recorded in 1998, with some areas seeing bleach rates of 70 percent. Experts expect these sorts of events to increase in frequency and intensity in the next 50 years as sea temperatures rise.

• An upsurge in the amount of extreme weather events, such as wildfires, heat waves, and strong tropical storms, is also attributed in part to climate change by some experts.

So are we humans causing it?

"Very likely," the IPCC said in a February 2007 report. The report, based on the work of some 2,500 scientists in more than 130 countries, concluded that humans have caused all or most of the current planetary warming. Human-caused global warming is often called anthropogenic climate change.

• Industrialization, deforestation, and pollution have greatly increased atmospheric concentrations of water vapor, carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous oxide, all greenhouse gases that help trap heat near Earth's surface.

• Humans are pouring carbon dioxide into the atmosphere much faster than plants and oceans can absorb it.

• These gases persist in the atmosphere for years, meaning that even if such emissions were eliminated today, it would not immediately stop global warming.

• Some experts point out that natural cycles in Earth's orbit can alter the planet's exposure to sunlight, which may explain the current trend. Earth has indeed experienced warming and cooling cycles roughly every hundred thousand years due to these orbital shifts, but such changes have occurred over the span of several centuries. Today's changes have taken place over the past hundred years or less.

• Other recent research has suggested that the effects of variations in the sun's output are "negligible" as a factor in warming, but other, more complicated solar mechanisms could possibly play a role.

What might happen?

A follow-up report by the IPCC released in April 2007 warned that global warming could lead to large-scale food and water shortages and have catastrophic effects on wildlife.

• Sea level could rise between 7 and 23 inches (18 to 59 centimeters) by century's end, the IPCC's February 2007 report projects. Rises of just 4 inches (10 centimeters) could flood many South Seas islands and swamp large parts of Southeast Asia.

• Some hundred million people live within 3 feet (1 meter) of mean sea level, and much of the world's population is concentrated in vulnerable coastal cities. In the U.S., Louisiana and Florida are especially at risk.

• Glaciers around the world could melt, causing sea levels to rise while creating water shortages in regions dependent on runoff for fresh water.

• Strong hurricanes, droughts, heat waves, wildfires, and other natural disasters may become commonplace in many parts of the world. The growth of deserts may also cause food shortages in many places.

• More than a million species face extinction from disappearing habitat, changing ecosystems, and acidifying oceans.

• The ocean's circulation system, known as the ocean conveyor belt, could be permanently altered, causing a mini-ice age in Western Europe and other rapid changes.

• At some point in the future, warming could become uncontrollable by creating a so-called positive feedback effect. Rising temperatures could release additional greenhouse gases by unlocking methane in permafrost and undersea deposits, freeing carbon trapped in sea ice, and causing increased evaporation of water.

What can we do about it right now?.

1. Change your light bulbs. If every household in the U.S. replaced a burned-out bulb with an energy-efficient, ENERGY STAR qualified compact fluorescent bulb, the cumulative effect is enormous. It would prevent greenhouse gas emissions equivalent to that from nearly 800,000 cars. It would also save enough energy to light 2.5 million homes for a year.

2. Drive less. On average, a passenger car emits 11,400 pounds of CO2 each year while a home emits 9,000 pounds of CO2 per person each year in the United States. And since we all can't afford to by a Hybrid right now, leaving your car at home two days a week will reduce your CO2 emissions by 1,590 pounds a year.

3. Strip down, bundle up! Add two degrees to the AC thermostat in summer, and two degrees in winter. Better yet, ceiling fans use 80% less energy than central air conditioners. By only using ceiling fans you can reduce your annual cooling costs by 10-65%. In warm weather run the fan blades in a counter-clockwise direction to feel 5 degrees cooler. During the winter set the fan blades to rotate clockwise at a low speed to force warm air from the ceiling down into the living space. Also, if 1 in 10 households serviced heating and cooling systems annually, cleaned or replaced filters regularly, used a programmable thermostat and replaced old equipment with ENERGY STAR models it would prevent the emissions of more than 17 billion pounds of greenhouse gases.

4. Watch out for the refrigerator! Your refrigerator is the biggest consumer of electricity among household appliances and responsible for 10-15% of the electricity you use each year. Don't set the thermostat too high. Lowering the temperature even 1 degree will make a big difference. If your refrigerator is near a heating vent, or always in the sun, then change the location, cover up the heating vent near it or cover the window. Turn on your "energy saver" switch near the thermostat. Clean the condenser coil. This one, very simple thing can improve the efficiency of your refrigerator reducing your annual energy costs by $20. Make sure the doors seal properly, and keep the cool in.

5. But don't turn your back on the the hot water heater, the washer and dryer, or the dishwasher. Either turn the hot water heater down to 120 degrees, or turn on the "energy conservation" setting. For each 10 degrees reduction in water temperature, you can save 3-5% in energy costs. Buy insulation at a local store and insulate your hot water heater and pipes. Install a timer on your water heater to turn off at night and on just before you wake up in the morning. Don't pre-rinse dishes. Today's detergents are powerful enough to do the job. Wait until you have a full load to run the dishwasher. Wash clothes in cold water, not hot. Ninety percent of the energy used in operating a washing machine goes toward heating the water that washes and rinses the clothes. Don't over-dry your clothes. Better yet, hang dry!

6. Garden wisely. While it is true that planting more trees will help in the short term because they essentially soak up carbon, they also release carbon dioxide when they die. So it just postpones the problem. But there are other reasons to plant trees - as wind breaks to save energy and as shade to lower cooling costs. As for plants, choose hardier plants that need less water. Plant flowers that need more water in groups and add mulch to help keep moisture in. Water your lawn sparingly.

7. Buy Green Energy and invest in green energy stocks. Imagine if we ran out of fossil fuels tomorrow, what would we do? Well, we'd get our electricity from renewable energy, such as solar panels, geothermal and wind power sources. Many utilities now give consumers the option to buy "green power." Ask for it! Learn the truth about nuclear power and natural gas as viable "green" options. They aren't. Radioactive waste will be a problem for tens of thousands of years into the future. Even though natural gas emits half as much CO2 as coal, it is still responsible for 20% of CO2 emissions in the United States while only providing us with around 23% of the energy consumed. Natural gas can help us make a transition, but it isn't the solution. Finally, invest in green stocks and renewable energy companies through socially responsible funds.

8. Go organic. Even with our vast reservoir of scientific knowledge about farming, most American farmers still spray a billion pounds of pesticides to protect crops each year. Now here's the kicker: when chemical pesticides are used to kill pests, they can also kill microorganisms that keep carbon contained in the soil. When the microorganisms are gone, the carbon is released into the atmosphere as CO2. And when those organisms are gone, the soil is no longer naturally fertile and chemical fertilizers become a necessity, not a luxury. But besides going organic - thereby saving the carbon release from soil - there are other simple things you can do with food that will also make a difference:
- Eat locally grown food. If the food doesn't have to travel far, there's less CO2 from the trucks that ship it.
- Eat fruits and vegetables in season. Again, that saves the enormous transportation costs.
- Plant your own vegetable garden. It's not as hard as you might think.
- Eat fresh, not frozen.

9. Buy recycled. This may sound simple, but it takes less energy to manufacture a recycled product than a brand new one. And before you buy, check to see if the product or its packaging can be recycled. The recyclable logo (three arrows forming a triangle) is fairly common now.

10. Be a minimalist. Every time you buy something, energy has gone into getting that product to you. So the less you buy, the more you save energy-wise. Buy in bulk. Donate or recycle what you really don't need. Buy quality products that will last longer and reduce quantity.

National Healthcare Decisions Day

2008-04-16T20:41:00.006-04:00

Every day, you make hundreds of decisions. What should you wear? Which route should you drive to work? What do you want to eat for lunch? What TV show will you watch tonight? But have you thought about what type of care you want when facing a medical crisis and who will speak for you if you are unable? Nearly 70% of Americans have not.

April 16th has been designated National Healthcare Decisions Day, a day set aside to highlight the importance of advance healthcare decision-making. This is a grassroots effort to encourage people to talk about their wishes with family, friends and healthcare providers and to complete their advance directives. Take a few moments to complete yours, for yourself and for those you love. http://www.doyourproxy.org/

Do something extraordinary ...

2008-04-15T21:15:00.017-04:00

Ordinary people do extraordinary things every day. I've seen this countless times in the 5+ years I've worked as a Heart Transplant Coordinator. Patients with end-stage heart failure fighting for every breath. Victims of massive MIs waking up on life support to discover they need a heart transplant. Although medical technology and organ donation awareness have continued to advance, the demand for organs still vastly exceeds the number of organ donations.

Statistics:
- There are more than 98,000 people on the national transplant waiting list.
- 77 people receive a life-saving organ transplant each day.
- 18 people die waiting for a life-saving organ transplant each day.
- 1 organ donor can save or enhance the lives of over 50 people.

Myths:
1. Myth: If I am in an accident and the doctors or nurses find my donor card, they will not try to save my life.

Fact: Doctors, nurses and paramedics will do everything to try to save your life. In fact, an individual needs to be in the hospital and on a ventilator at the time of death in order to donate organs. The local organ donor recovery network is not notified until all life-saving efforts have failed. The transplant team is not notified by the local organ donor recovery network until after they have spoken with the individual's family.

2. Myth: My body will be mutilated and disfigured if I would donate.

Fact: Donated organs and tissue are removed surgically in the regular hospital operating room. Doctors maintain dignity and respect for the donor at all times. Organ donation itself does not preclude an open casket service for the donor.

3. Myth: Wealthy people are the only people who receive transplants.

Fact: Organs are matched first according to height, weight and blood type, followed by medical urgency and then time accrued on the waiting list. Fame and fortune do not determine who receives a transplant. Most major insurances now cover transplants.

4. Myth: I cannot choose what I want to donate.

Fact: You may specify what organs or tissues you want to donate on your donor card. Your wishes will be followed.

5. Myth: I am not the right age for donation.

Fact: Organs may be donated from someone as young as a newborn. There is no age limit for organ donation. The general age limit for tissue donation is 80 and cornea donation is 70.

6. Myth: If I do not sign a donor card, my organs and tissues won't be donated.

Fact: Without a donor card or donor designation, families of suitable donors will still be offered the opportunity to donate. To ensure your wishes are fulfilled, sign a donor card, place the designation on your license/state identification card and ensure your family knows your wishes.

7. Myth: My religion does not support donation.

Fact: All major religions either support donation or view it as an individual decision. The exceptions to this are the Gypsy and Shintu religions.

8. Myth: Only heart, liver and kidneys can be donated.

Fact: The pancreas, lungs, intestines and the stomach can also be donated, as can corneas, tendons, saphenous and femoral veins, fascia, heart valves, skin and bone.

9. Myth: Organs go to people who didn't take care of theirs.

Fact: Organs in fact go to people who were born with or developed diseases that have caused organ failure. Less than five percent of people awaiting transplant have destroyed their organ through substance abuse. For those people, they must achieve and sustain sobriety before they can be listed for transplant.

10. Myth: My organs aren't of any value because I have a history of medical illness.

Fact: Few illnesses or conditions prevent someone from being a donor. At the time of death, your medical and social histories will be reviewed to determine suitability.

April is Organ Donor Awareness Month. The lack of organ donors is a national medical crisis. The cure has nothing to do with money or legislation. It has everything to do with people - starting with you. Do something extraordinary. Your decision to donate will make a difference. Donation saves lives, lots of them. (http://www.organdonor.gov/, http://www.donatelife.net/)

China school ...

2008-04-12T20:15:00.008-04:00

Our local FCC chapter offers Chinese culture classes for preschoolers (and their parents) during the Fall and Spring semesters. With the help of very patient Chinese students from the U of R, we learn a little Mandarin as well as about Chinese stories, song and dance. The children develop friendships and look forward to getting together at other FCC events throughout the year. Elizabeth loves going to "China School." She doesn't understand that we are trying to honor her heritage, celebrate the diversity of our family, and advocate for her acceptance and respect. She just loves playing with the other girls, especially her best friend Meaghan.

There are differing opinions on the value of programs like FCC, but I hope it will help her develop an appreciation of her heritage, of an ancient culture and people, that will strengthen her pride in her background and help her understand her life story. I want to create a safe zone of multicultural friends and family, where she knows she is loved unconditionally and where she can express herself fully without fear of being persecuted or judged. I also believe that it's important for her to have a mentor with whom she can discuss issues of adoption and culture; areas that — much as we'd like to — we can never fully understand. I want to protect her. I want to empower her. More than anything, I want her to love herself.

The other day, we were waiting our turn for haircuts. In the chair, getting some finishing touches, was an older woman who, at first seemed harmless enough, but then opened her mouth. In front of my very aware 4-year-old daughter, she proceeded to ask intrusive questions and make ignorant comments.
--"Is she adopted?" Here we go.
--"How much did it cost?" She's priceless.
--"Why didn't you adopt an American kid?" Because our daughter was in China.
--"Do you know her mother?" I'm her mother.
--"She's a very lucky little girl." We're the lucky ones. We have a beautiful daughter who has added so much more to our lives than we could ever hope to give to her.
It's a good thing the curling iron was out of reach. I've read all about conspicuous families. I know we're supposed to try and educate the public. But, man, I thought we were supposed to educate about adoption, not common decency and good manners.

Identity crisis?

2008-04-07T21:09:00.012-04:00

I'm pretty much committed to being a beta-mom (aka slacker mom), but I did begin to wonder about my style of parenting as I listened to my 4-year-old daughter speak to her imaginary friend earlier today. Oh, I don't mind the imaginary friend (I used to have one myself), but it was the fact that she was speaking with a British accent and a really bad one at that. Born in China, living in NY, speaking like she lives in a London flat. Too funny. Actually, too much Charlie and Lola (http://www.charlieandlola.com/).

Charlie and Lola are very charming characters by Lauren Child, who are now a very entertaining show from BBC that let's you see the world through the eyes of a 4-year-old girl and her very patient 7-year-old brother. Elizabeth is crazy about the show and has been sharing Lola-isms with us all week:
- I will never NOT ever eat a tomato
- I am ever SO not well
- It is absolutely completely NOT messy
- Never EVER never step on the cracks
- I am TOO absolutely small for school
- I can do anything that's everything ALL on my own
- I'm just NOT keen on spiders
- I do not ever, NEVER want my wobbly tooth to fall out

There are worse shows that she could want to watch ... Caillou makes me crazy with all his whining and Barney, well, need I say more? So, I pour a couple of glasses of pink milk and curl up on the couch with my girl for some serious snuggle time. After all, as Charlie says, "I have this little sister, Lola. She is small and VERY funny." Call me barmy, but this is a great way to spend half an hour.

Referrals!

2008-04-04T22:09:00.013-04:00

The stork has landed and the next batch of referrals are here! Those lucky families with LIDs of 1/5/2006 - 1/9/2006 are getting word and pictures of their new sons and daughters. I know our day will come but with a LID of 2/27/2006, it's likely that it won't be until late this year. They seem to only be matching 5 or 6 days a month. It could actually be 3 full years from our LID before we meet our baby. A far cry from the mere 7 months we waited for Elizabeth.

Someone was asking me today about adopting from China and I told them at this point, unless their heart was telling them their child is in China, they'd likely be better off looking elsewhere if they didn't want to wait 4-5 years (NSN). Reviewing CCAA's new rules, waiting times and cost schedules (they've raised the orphanage fee from $3000 to $5000, we'll likely have to renew all of our documents for a 3rd time, and the rising cost of airline tickets presumably secondary to fuel prices, etc.), it's going be much harder for the average bear to adopt from China. Sad but true ...

Our adoption time line & paper chase ...

2008-04-04T21:06:00.030-04:00

8/18/2005 - Pre-application
8/18/2005 - Fee schedule (signed & notarized)
8/18/2005 - Application
8/18/2005 - Disclosure Letter
8/18/2005 - Authorization to Release Adoption Info (notarized)
8/18/2005 - Four Entities to Satisfy Form
8/18/2005 - Agreement for Foreign Adoption Services
8/18/2005 - USCIS I 600A Application (w/copies of Vital Certificates)
8/18/2005 - USCIS (I 600A) Application fee ($)
8/18/2005 - USCIS (I 600A) Fingerprinting fee ($)
8/18/2005 - NYS Child Abuse Clearance Form (NYS residents only)
8/18/2005 - NYS OFCS Fingerprint cards (NYS residents only) (HIS)
8/18/2005 - NYS OFCS Fingerprint cards (NYS residents only) (HERS)
8/18/2005 - 2 Passport Photos (HIS)
8/18/2005 - 2 Passport Photos (HERS)
8/18/2005 - Clear copy of Passport Picture and Signature page (HIS)
8/18/2005 - Clear copy of Passport Picture and Signature page (HERS)
8/18/2005 - Conviction Statement (HIS) (signed and notarized)
8/18/2005 - Conviction Statement (HERS) (signed and notarized)
8/18/2005 - Eyes Wide Open Acknowledgment/Certificate
8/18/2005 - Police or Sheriff Letter (2 notarized originals) HIS
8/18/2005 - Police or Sheriff Letter (2 notarized originals) HERS
8/18/2005 - Travel Procedures/Agreement (signed & notarized)
8/18/2005 - Travel Document (initialed, signed & notarized)
9/13/2005 - HIV Release & Health Info Release- HIS (witnessed)
9/13/2005 - HIV Release & Health Info Release - HERS (witnessed)
9/13/2005 - International Risk Statement
9/13/2005 - Guardian information form (1)
9/13/2005 - China Letter of Application (2 notarized originals)
9/13/2005 - Medical Report - 2 notarized forms (HIS)
9/13/2005 - Medical Report - 2 notarized forms (HERS)
9/13/2005 - Financial Statement (2 notarized forms) - TYPED
9/13/2005 - Employment Letter (2 notarized originals) HIS
9/13/2005 - Employment Letter (2 notarized originals) HERS
9/13/2005 - 2-4 Outside of Home Photos
9/13/2005 - 6-8 Family Life Photos
9/13/2005 - Home Study and Dossier fee ($)
9/20/2005 - Reference #1
9/20/2005 - Reference #2
9/20/2005 - Reference #3
9/28/2005 - Guardian Letter (2 notarized originals)
9/28/2005 - 2 Exemplified Birth Certificates (HIS)
9/28/2005 - 2 Exemplified Birth Certificates (HERS)
9/28/2005 - 2 Exemplified Marriage Certificates
9/28/2005 - 2 Exemplified Divorce Certificates (HIS)
1/02/2006 - I-171H Immigration Approval Letter
1/31/2006 - DTC (Dossier to China)
2/27/2006 - LID (CCAA log in date)
2/27/2007 - STILL WAITING ...
2/27/2007 - I-171H re-approval documents & fees:
2/27/2007 - I-600A
2/27/2007 - Child abuse clearance form
2/27/2007 - 2 updated certificates of medical clearance (HERS)
2/27/2007 - 2 updated certificates of medical clearance (HIS)
2/27/2007 - 1 updated letter of employment (HERS)
2/27/2007 - 1 updated letter of employment (HIS)
2/27/2007 - 2 police letters (HERS)
2/27/2007 - 2 police letters (HIS)
2/27/2007 - 1 fingerprint card (HERS)
2/27/2007 - 1 fingerprint card (HIS)
2/27/2007 - USCIS form letter stamped & dated (day of reprinting)
2/27/2007 - USCIS signed fax release
2/27/2008 - STILL WAITING ...
5/21/2008 - Fingerprints expired, I171-H valid through 1/31/2009
7/18/2008 - Fingerprints re-done
10/09/2008 - I-171H re-approval documents & fees:
10/09/2008 - I-600A ($)
10/09/2008 - I-800A (just in case)
10/09/2008 - Child abuse clearance form
10/09/2008 - 2 updated certificates of medical clearance (HERS)
10/09/2008 - 2 updated certificates of medical clearance (HIS)
10/09/2008 - 1 updated letter of employment (HERS)
10/09/2008 - 1 updated letter of employment (HIS)
10/09/2008 - 2 police letters (HERS)
10/09/2008 - 2 police letters (HIS)
10/09/2008 - 1 fingerprint card (HERS)
10/09/2008 - 1 fingerprint card (HIS)
10/09/2008 - USCIS request for free extension letter
10/09/2008 - USCIS signed fax release
12/01/2008 - Homestudy Update ($)
12/29/2008 - RECEIVED REFERRAL!!!
01/27/2009 - I-600A extension is approved!
02/05/2009 - Updated I-171H received

First manicure ...

2008-03-31T21:48:00.012-04:00

Elizabeth decided to "paint" her fingernails blue and green. Why? Because those are her favorite colors, of course. I think she did an outstanding job for a 4-year-old. And thoughtfully, she used her washable color markers and not the indelible black ones tucked in the back of the drawer. Daddy still had quite a time getting it all off. She now has her very own bottle of quick-drying nail polish, which is the color of bubble gum. Needless to say, she's tickled pink.

Noah's ark ...

2008-03-31T21:18:00.007-04:00

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah's Ark ...

1. Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

2. Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask
you to do something really big.

3. Don't listen to critics. Do what has to be done.

4. Build your future on high ground.

5. For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

6. Two heads are better than one.

7. Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

8. When you’re stressed – try floating awhile.

9. Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.

10. Remember - we're all in the same boat.

11. When the doo-doo gets really deep, don't just sit there and complain -- shovel!

12. Stay below deck during the storm.

13. Remember that the ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic was built by professionals.

14. If you have to start over, have a friend by your side.

15. Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.

16. No matter how bleak it looks, when you’re with God, there's always a rainbow on the other side.

17. DON'T MISS THE BOAT!

Our first daughter ...

2008-03-24T22:33:00.006-04:00

The best present my husband ever gave me was my step-daughter, Stacie. It wasn't always easy being a "blended" family, in fact, at times it was incredibly hard. (Just ask her Dad about the call we received from the Maury Povich show when she was a teenager - "Punkin, do we have a problem we need to talk about?" "No Dad, I just thought we could get a free trip to New York City.") But then there would be defining moments - the cross-country motorcycle trip, being there for the birth of her children and cutting an umbilical cord, watching her step forward to help someone in need - the moments when love, courage and honor shine so brightly that you can't help but see what an amazing person she truly is. I used to wish that she were mine, that I was more than just her step-monster, but then I realized that this little girl had more than enough love to go around. She taught me that I could love a child that's not biologically mine and opened my heart to the prospect of adoption. I love you, Baby Girl, and owe you more than I can ever say.

Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But nevertheless still my own.
Never forget for a single minute
You weren't born under my heart
But in it.

© Fleur Conkling Heyliger

The first day of spring?

2008-03-20T20:17:00.001-04:00

Adoption rocks! Or does it?

2008-03-19T22:05:00.001-04:00

Adoption is bittersweet. Being a Mom has been the most amazing experience of my life, but I'm very aware of what had to occur to make it so. My beautiful little girl had to lose everything - a birthmother, a family, a culture, a country - in order for me to become her Mom. Would we have chosen that for her? No, not a chance. Will we be forever grateful to her Chinese mother who chose to give birth to her and to the one(s) who wrapped her in warm blankets and left her near a hospital so that she would be found quickly? Yes, absolutely. Inexplicable tragedy, unimaginable loss and profound grief -- not the most auspicious way to start a family. Adoption is not for sissies.

There are many reasons why she may have been abandoned, but we'll never know the exact ones. There were signs that she had been loved and cared for in those first few hours, and we'll make sure she understands that. I've read a great deal lately about angry and disillusioned adoptees, and it's been a bit disheartening to say the least. I am able to understand some of their feelings, but certainly not all (despite my older brother insisting more than once that I was adopted ... ). Everyone has their own path to follow and not one of us gets through this life without scars, adopted or not. I hope I have the right words for my daughters when they're ready to talk about it. In the meantime, I'll continue to pray that Elizabeth's birthmom knows that the intelligent, strong-willed, sassy daughter we share is a very happy and healthy little girl.

Our children are not ours because they share our genes ... they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day ... or long sleepless night, is how love really works. --- Unknown

The lighter side of adoption ...

2008-03-09T21:32:00.003-04:00

(Originally published in "Adoption Nation: How The Adoption Revolution is Transforming America," by Adam Pertman)
© Dan Wasserman

THE ACCIDENTAL ADOPTION

Have you ever noticed that you hear all the time about "accidental" pregnancies, but never about couples who experience "accidental" adoptions? Can you imagine:

Honey, sit down. I have some news for you.

What is it?

Well, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just come out with it. I went out to the mailbox today and ... well, we got an I-171H.
A what?!?! An I-171H? As in, we're going to have another baby?!?

It looks that way.

But how? We've been so careful! I put away all the blank 1-600A forms. Didn't you hide our homestudy update?

Of course I did. But don't forget, there was that one night ...

What night? (pauses) Ohhh, that night. But it was only once. We were just messing around. I didn't print clearly. I didn't even use black ink! (pauses again) But it was kind of fun. (giggles)

It was, wasn't it? I'll never forget how cute you looked getting your fingerprints.

So now we've got our I171H, eh? But that doesn't always mean you'll adopt, does it? I mean, shouldn't you see the agency or something, make sure everything's okay?

I already did.

And?

I'm five documents along.

Five documents!

And they're all notarized, certified and authenticated, okay?

Just great.

There was one small scare when the agency couldn't see the notary's middle initial, but it showed up just fine under the magnifying glass.

Thank God. And you, honey? Are you feeling okay?

I'm feeling fine. As long as I know you're happy about this.

Happy? I'm thrilled! It's always a shock at first when something like this happens, but of course I'm happy.

For my mother ...

2008-03-05T22:35:00.003-05:00

I always knew my mother loved me, but never fully appreciated or even really understood the incredible depth of that love, until I became a mother myself. It was also when I became a mother, that I realized I wanted to be a better daughter. Unfortunately, I had less than 2 years of shared motherhood with Mom before she passed away from a rare and untreatable form of cancer. This picture was taken a month before she died and it was the last time she held her grandaughter. It still hurts to think that she won't be at the airport to greet us when we return from China with our new daughter, as she was when we returned with Elizabeth.

I'm a nurse because my Mom was a nurse. I remember one holiday eve when my Mom said that before we could sit down and celebrate, we had to bring dinner to one of her patients (she was working as a visiting nurse at the time). We packed up some of our meal, climbed into the car and drove to her patient's house. I remember an older woman using a walker to get around and that she was so pleased that Mom had stopped by. I remember feeling sad that she had no friends or family with her but could understand, even at that young age, that my mother's small gesture had meant the world to her. Mom was a master at the art of nursing, an art that is rarely seen today.

I love you, Mom. And I miss you every day.

For my daughters ...

2008-03-04T00:30:00.006-05:00

On October 7, 2004, I became a mother. It wasn't in a hospital bed after long hours of labor (although some might consider that plane ride from Chicago to Hong Kong 15 hours worth of labor), but in a stranger's hotel room that had a queen-size bed (funny what you remember). A small quiet woman from the orphanage smiled at me as she stepped forward and handed me our daughter, then stepped back and wiped away her own tears. I took in every detail of Elizabeth's face and noticed that she seemed to be summing me up as well. She never shed a tear. She just put her head down on my shoulder and let out a big sigh as if to say, "What took you so long?" And the love that had begun to shimmer when I first gazed at her referral picture took hold with such a visceral force, that it rocked my world. And I have never been the same.

Sometime this year, we will travel back to China for our other daughter. We know she's there waiting for us and hope she's warm and secure, well-loved and well-fed. We were very concerned about her this winter with so many of the orphanages in crisis due to the severe weather that seemed to pummel most of China, and the thought that she might be cold or hungry was extremely upsetting. We will be forever grateful to the Half The Sky Foundation (http://www.halfthesky.org/), whose Little Mouse Emergency Fund provided monies for blankets, warm clothing, diapers, food, space heaters, generators, and so on. By contributing to their emergency fund, perhaps we were able to do something for our daughter, wherever she is.

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I want to be

In my daughter's eyes

Everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light

And the world is at peace

This miracle God gave to me

Gives me strength when I am weak

I find reason to believe

In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand around my finger

How it puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer

I realize what life is all about

It’s hanging on when your heart has had enough

It’s giving more when you feel like giving up

I've seen the light

In my daughter's eyes

I can see the future

A reflection of who I am

And what will be

And though she'll grow and someday leave

Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you'll see

How happy she made me

And I'll be there

In my daughter's eyes

by Martina McBride